So Pretty Much My Life is Over Because I Just Finished Reading the Greatest Book Ever Written

So Pretty Much My Life is Over Because I Just Finished Reading the Greatest Book Ever Written

Roughly a month ago I ventured down the best sellers aisle at my favorite book store looking for something new to read. I had just finished reading the last book in the Sweet Valley High series (which is equally an amazing page turner) and I was looking for something particularly to make me laugh.

Then the large pink font caught my attention. Naturally I turned to the back of the book to read the synopsis.

“Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she’s never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her ‘problems’ have landed her in shopping rehab-that’s what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys.”

Key words and phrases that caught my attention, “Louboutins” and a “spending problem.” This very well could be my life story!

Except I didn’t grow up a billionaire who had the luxury of renting the animatronic dinosaurs from Jurassic Park for a dino themed birthday party (I rather enjoyed my Barbie themed birthday parties so that’s ok.) She elaborates on the split personality that sometimes devours a perfectly good girl when they fall head over heels for a guy. Girls you know how it goes, one minute you are a perfectly sane well balanced functioning member of society, the next minute you are a crazed psychopath spewing nonsense and acting like a deranged mental person. It happens to the best of us. I guess that’s why they call it crazy in love.

Throughout the book I found myself wondering. Who is this person? And if I were super rich would we be best friends? Probably not, because 1 diva plus 2 divas us too many divas. But from one self proclaimed shopaholic, to another with a problem waaaaay worse then mine and therefore immediately making me feel better about my shopping problem, I applaud you and respect you. I guess if you’re going to have an epiphome about your problem the designer flooded floor of a Barneys fitting room is the way to go.

And getting to rehab only to be scolded for your “white girl problems?” OMG! That happened to me when I was hospitalized for almost a month! Believe it or not you can be pretty and have issues it happens, but thank you hospital staff for proclaiming me as the “Britney Spears” of the hospital wing!

I laughed, I cried from laughing so hard (like the time she fell in love with a guy only to find out it was a girl, these days in LA it really could happen to anyone.) But more importantly she helped me hone in on my own voice. Sometimes, ya just gotta say screw grammatical properness and unleash your inner valley girl. If you’re looking for an entertaining way to spend your hours by the beach or the pool, I highly recommend this book.

Cheers on an amazing memoir, Babe Walker!

4 thoughts on “So Pretty Much My Life is Over Because I Just Finished Reading the Greatest Book Ever Written

  1. I will have to venture to read this book my dear Jess as just the description so could reminds me that it could have been you. Why I love you and your quirkiness!!! Jess you wouldn’t be you without them. Even whe it is the problems of a White girl. 🙂 Love you!

  2. Well my love you got your grandma norma again I was raised the greatest bool ever written was the Bible whew I thought you got religion love loving you grandma

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